results are in..,

I was pretty anxious awaiting the 'results' of the votes for yesterday's Mamavation Campaign. I have to admit I REALLY thought I had done some 'leg work' in getting votes...,I talked about how I had been trying to lose weight & how I was finally ready to REALLY take it off. But I didn't truly have an inspirational story like some of  living thru heart aches and battles with parents, or always being the 'fat kid'. My story, like me, has been 'hidden' deep inside with the pain and hurt of constantly being judged for my 'size'; When I was in Jr High and High School I played sports; I played basketball, softball, even did track. I practiced outside my house after school, I ran the bike trail d rippling my basketball, I rode 16 miles on my bike with my Dad to my Aunt's house up hills and old country roads.., But I was always 'bigger' then the rest. I was somewhat in the "in" crowd, but not quite cute or petite enough to ever really fit in. Everyone around me was a size 2 or 4 and I was a 9/10. I had a constant battle against food - I would not eat or only eat what my Mom made me at dinner then gorge on sweets while I did my homework in my room .., I NEVER ate in front of my friends - everyone watches the 'big' girl eat, and then they say "that's why she's big", so I didn't. I refused to go out to eat with my family ,and begged them to bring dinner home - when I started high school my parent's decided that the high school was too big and I would get 'lost' in the crowd, so they decided to home school me. Back in 1996 when this happened they didn't allow kids that were home schooled to join the sports teams, they didn't have support groups to hang out .., so I became an invert. I was never big on 'working out' I always just 'practiced' .., so I wasn't getting exercise, I started to gain weight and feel more insecure..,I finished my schooling months early in 1998 so I could get a full-time job, and then I got some of my confidence back, I dated (and I use that term loosely), because I was being accepted by all these guys - don't get me wrong, I was HOT then, lol, but deep inside I was still the  'big' girl, and any time a guy showed me attention I sucked it in like nothing else mattered.., I eventually started partying and that lead to horrible drink binges and really BAD decisions - long story short I ended up pregnant with my daughter. Honestly she was my LIFE SAVER since I was on a road that lead only to destruction.., however, physically I wasn't on a good road. I ate whatever I wanted when I wanted and gained 60 lbs.., which I NEVER truly lost. My weight has fluctuated since then and I have never been able to get a hold on it. I have always allowed the stress of life around me to control my eating and exercise habits, and now that I am married to a wonderful man, and I am DONE having children, I had decided to apply to be a MM.  Anyway (now that I've gotten off course),
When I read the 3 new Mamavation Mom's, I have to admit my heart sank. No matter how good someone tells you that you are doing, it stings a little when you put yourself out there and don't 'win'. I felt a little.. OK a LOT rejected. Not that the 3 new MM's weren't deserving - but when your 2 outta 5 that doesn't get 'chosen' it hurts.. I am not the type of person to openly talk about how uncomfortable I am with my body (see paragraph above). I don't give off that feeling to anyone, if anything a lot of people think I am very confident; I PRETEND well. So when I asked over 200 of my Facebook friends (old school & church friends, teachers, friends parents, new friends, in-laws,  co-workers), to VOTE for me to join a WEIGHT LOSS boot camp it did hurt my pride. A LOT. In fact instead of posting it to my wall for ALL to see, I sent to people I thought would be more understanding.., that wouldn't laugh or think 'poor big girl'. But even at that to go to my email today and people asking me the results my pride is definitely a bit bruised.
I allowed my own pity party on for a minute, (in which I wanted to pig out on bad food, but instead opted for a wheat bread pb & sugar free jelly sandwich), and now have decided that I can PROVE that I am just as deserving as any other and that I won't allow not being 'chosen' ruin what I have been working at the past few weeks. I have done things I NEVER thought I could do (like give up pop! - or lose freakin' 12 lbs in 2 wks!) and I WILL show EVERYone that I can do it on my own. It's just like everything else in life I have to keep my SELF accountable for my actions.
I really do appreciate everyone's support,it means a lot when someone checks in with me and tells me they are proud. It helps keep me going when I am having a rough patch ,or just feel like giving up.
My goal right now is to lose 30 lbs by May 1st - honestly hope I lose more, but I am trying to be realistic.

Every day is a new day..,

I have been consciously working on my weight loss and 'healthy' living habits for a little over 3 weeks now. I have given up POP (except for an occasional sip here or there - but honestly it is like GONE from my life), I have with complaint from my children, removed and stopped purchasing all the 'sweets' in our house, I have limited our 'out to eat' fast food meals to Subway , and have skipped the "I'm just gonna lay here and relax and watch T.V" evenings to I'm gonna get this darn work out in if it kills me!
During the #2weekchallenge I lost a total of 12 lbs. That is a LOT of weight in 2 weeks - it made me realize how I hadn't been properly taking care of myself, OR living a healthy lifestyle as an example to my kids. As I would take the pictures and stay up to do the work outs, my kids took notice. My youngest daughter made sure before I started eating that I took a picture to 'tweet' to Mark. My son would come into my room as soon as he heard me jumping around to 'work out' with Mama, and even my eldest began to make healthier food choices & life choices (Mom I decided I'm not staying up to watch Wizards of Waverly Place tonight, I am going to bed so I can get enough sleep to be better tomorrow). In a MERE 2 weeks I not only challenged myself, but those around me - I even had my Mom & sister doing my 2weekchallenge work out's with me after our 'family' dinner. This is not something that I can just drop when I feel overwhelmed, this is something I must stick with, no MATTER what to show my family that WE CAN!

I have tried to stay very positive about my outlook with all the changes I'm making - Forced myself not to think how BAD I wanted to dig into my girls Girl Scout Cookies, or stop buy some chocolate chip cookies to make with the kids after homework was done. I was POSITIVELY on the right track.., this weekend shook me a bit though, but what is a better test of the wills then to fail yet get up and start where you left off? I was completely psyched on Friday to know that my husband and I were having a 'date' nite. One of those where the sitter stays the nite and you know you can just enjoy yourself and not worry about taking care of stuff when you get home? Those don't happen all to often, so we took complete advantage. We went to a mexican restaurant which I was (at first) pretty smart about .We ordered an appetizer and I split that with him for MY dinner, and had some chips & salsa - my first big mistake was the tall ass margarita that I ordered TWO of since the alcohol seemed to start to effect my brain AND my ability to make smart decisions - we continued the nite with drinks ,and trust me in the back of my head I kept thinking "there goes my 12 lbs lose' . We stayed out late, and enjoyed our 'date', but I paid for it the next day. I knew I had been fighting off being 'sick' for the last week or so - kids had been sick, we had been running running running without a lot of rest, but I had been eating healthy, working out and taking my vitamins -but that nite did me in, I woke up and felt like I was ran over by a mac truck! The lack of sleep seems to have allowed the virus to start taking its toll and I was unable to work out, clean or do much of anything else. I ate whatever my hubby fixed for me (frozen pizza, a burger- I actually didn't eat that much) and I had some Sprite.., I know to some that doesn't seem HORRID, but for ME it was like an alcoholic who had gotten their 15 days clean badge, and then fell off the wagon. When you have a food problem like I do, you can't just jump in and except to get out dry. Your going to be soaking wet, out of breathe, and a few steps back..,
I still feel like death today, but I'm not letting that stop me. I WILL work out today (even if its not as intense as usually) and I will continue my LIFESTYLE change of HEALTHY eating habits, and I will show my family, friends and anyone else that no matter what you have to get back on the wagon - every day is a new day!

Mamavation Finalist!

I have to say I was a bit shocked that I actually was selected as a finalist - shocked, and honored. I am fairly 'new' to the Sistahood but I am completely 100% committed to this change I'm making. I'm guessing it shows! =)
There are a lot of great finalist, and honestly I think we all deserve a spot =) But since that can't happen,  I am doing my best to get the votes! We shall see what happens, but either way I am going to continue doing what is working for me - Tweeting my meals & work out's, weighing & measuring in each week. This helps with my accountability and keeps me motivated!
I did pretty well this weekend, always room for improvement though. I know that I need to be more prepared meal wise - and snack wise. That seems to be that hardest part so far.., and of course finding the time for ALL the work out's. They say that you make time for what's important to you, (that's soo true) and I have definitely been making wiser choices. I am confident that I can keep it up, it's just making sure if I do mess up that I step right back up and get on the 'wagon' again.

oops - catch up! #Mamavation #2weekchallenge

Life has been a little hectic to say the least! Work has been a bit busy, then EVERY SINGLE DAY after work we've had some sort of activity going on (girl scouts, cheer, etc). I don't mind so much in the summer, but during the school year it's hard to maintain organization and get everything done that needs to be done!
Kayla had cheer last nite, so I walked the court waiting for her - I LOVE this set up because I can let my 9 and 3 yr old run around and burn up some energy as well, and not chase after them, or try to keep them entertained for the hour that she's practicing.
Food wise I've been doing pretty well - I do however have a bit of a problem coming up with 'new' things to eat. I've been sticking to what I know, and what is easy. So that is a challenge for myself next week.
We have grabbed food a few times b/c of time (I HATE that about me), but I keep it healthy. And you don't understand how hard it is NOT to pick up a Coke.
Work out's have been going OK, but I could do better. I haven't felt the best this week, lots of migraine issues (allergy/weather related) with our crazy Ohio weather going from 22 to 57 back to 16. I mean, who  can really NOT have issues?
Anyway, I am excited about being down 11 lbs, and I am just hoping I am not disappointed on Monday when I weigh in again. I would like to keep up this momentum!

Mamavation Week 2

WELL this weekend went pretty well - I got a good wk out in, but I did 'accidently' drink some pop (soda). My daughter had a Coke Zero on the table and I picked it up and took a drink - I don't feel like I went backwards too much though, I grabbed my water and have had water ever since.., I snacked on Sunday a bit, but I ate chicken salad w/crackers, had a few pretzels, ate a bowl of  cereal that nite b/c I wanted something 'sweet'. I may not be where I want to be as far as eating nutritionally, but I am wayyyy better then I WAS doing and that's a step.
Last nite we had a long nite, and we picked up Arby's. (Honestly Subway sometimes gets expensive when your buying for 4), anyway I got a roast beef, took off the bun and a baked potato. Ate some horsey sauce w/the roast beef and had butter on the baked potato and drank water. For lunch I had some veggie soup my Mom had made this wk end that she sent with me (where would I be without her!), and for breakfast I had pineapple! No snacking - and that is HUGE for me.., I didn't work out, our weather went from like freezing cold (20's) to 52 and my head was about to EXPLODE. I probably should of done at least part of the work out but I haven't been feeling 100%, so I went to bed (sometimes sleep is the best medicine).
My challenge to myself today is to do my Mamavation 2 Week Challenge Work Out AND add some extra - most likely treadmill walking time. I really hope to see a major difference next week when I measure and weigh myself again.
That is all for now - I will update about my day later =)

Day 5

Ok, last nite was a HUGE challenge. We had cheer practice, and this is the 4th day in a row we haven't been home after I got off work. That wares on me AND the kids. We went to cheer & on the way home my migraine started (I'm sure it's this lovely Ohio weather - 50 one day, below 0 the next!), so we stopped at Mickey D's. ( know not the best choice, but I did NOT feel like walking into Subway and waiting 20 minutes for them to fix ALL of our sandwiches). I learned a trick from some other diet sites about what to eat when your out and don't really have much of choice.  I chose HAMBURGERS! Plain yet yummy Mickey D burgers. 1 has 250 calories. I had skipped lunch again at work (busy busy selling bee!), so I opted for THREE of them. Yes 750 calories, but I was starving by then, so I ate them up ..,and some popcorn. BUT I resisted the urge to grab a soda, or an ice cream so I am still pretty proud of myself. It also helped that my little health nut 7 yr old said "hey Mom, did you remember to take picture of your dinner for your challenge?" or hey mom, I'm going to have water with you". She also is a drill Sargent and works out with me sometimes, I swear she could be the next Jillian!
Started my work out, and couldn't do it. So I got the kids all ready for bed, and headed there myself. Now I know there are going to be days like this. My will, my energy, , everything was low last nite. But I congratulated myself on choosing wiser options instead of just giving up completely. (which could of been VERY easy).
I woke up with a new outlook, and took my meds so I wouldn't get another headache, and started w/my bottle of water. With the snow and everything the insurance business gets busy, so I skipped breakfast, and ordered a salad w/chicken for lunch. The chicken was crispy, so I took the skin off (or just took the big hunk of crispy skin with NO chicken in it out - I mean really?) anyway, I skipped the ROLLS and that was a feat in itself and excused myself with my Crystal Lite.
I will do 5 circuits of work outs 2nite since I missed 2 last nite.., I may only manage 4, depending on how sore I get, but I can always add another to Sat. I have my Mamavation Boot Camp interview 2nite as well, and I am excited AND nervous.
I'm also glad it's the weekend so I can finally get to the grocery and finish up my laundry and start next week organized and READY TO GO!
I'm hoping for another 8 lbs loss - I think this whole soda thing was a BIG part of it.

I may not check in this weekend- depends on the kids & how everything goes - but if not I'll see you all Monday! =) Have a great one!

Day 4

Last nite: I skipped lunch (work was busy), and I left early because I had a Dr's appt (and I was 25 min late b/c of stupid weather & Traffic so my evening was NOT off to a good start), anyway found out that I lost 8 lbs since my visit the month before! SUPER EXCITED considering I hadn't started working out and really watching what I was eating until this past Monday - so it was encouraging to hear my Dr. say she was proud of me, and I told her about #mamavation - She was SOO supportive of my decision to join & apply to be the next Boot  Camp Mama!
Anyway - rushed home to grumpy kids (none of them are feeling well), so we got Subway for dinner. When my kids are hungry they need to eat like 5 minutes ago - or they continue to get whinier, grumpier, and I just wasn't up for it. So I ate a footlong (HEY I skipped lunch!) of chicken breast w/lots of veggies. Ate some Doritos too, but I was starving! NO POP though ,and I'm proud of myself for that.., that is a HARD thing to resist!
I got the kids showered and settled and started in on my work out.., My 7 yr old joined me for the planking (go figure) and she admitted it was hard (ha! even for my little soccer player, lol). I finished all 3 circuits within an hr, would of been shorter but I had to keep stopping to get this or that for the kids..,
Overall yesterday was VERY successful.
Today I'm tired. It's rainy, cold, and I just want to get under the covers.., I got Subway flat bread for breakfast this morning egg whites, ham, veggies), and It's almost 3 and I havnen't ate lunch .. had 2 apples for my 'snack' . I brought salad, but I'm not feeling it yet.
We have my daughter's cheer 2nite -  so I get to walk the track while she practices. Then I will go home & do my circuits., um, and somewhere in there we will need 2 fit in dinner. I can NOT wait until the weekend .., no plans except to get some laundry done and go to the grocery. I'm excited for my rest day, though I might take that tomorrow.
I am 60 lbs away from my 'goal' weight. ., I have a lonnggg road ahead of me, but I'm ready for it!